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Advice for parents
High emotions and low funds
Practical advice for parents of soon-to-be-students
Your child is off to university, that’s exciting! And worrying, maybe just a bit emotional too! Supporting your son or daughter when they leave for university will enable them to feel confident and enjoy their first few months out of home. Two of the most important ways a parent can support their child are being there financially and emotionally. Financially, it’s not all about transferring funds into their account; they are entering a new period of independence where they can make important financial decisions without your authority, so it’s a good idea to help them prepare for this. Emotionally they are out there on their own for the first time too, without familiar faces of old friends or family members, or even school teachers that they have known for years. Most of the time the environment is new also, and this can be stressful, especially if living in a city for the first time. You need to look after yourself emotionally at this time too, it can be hard to come to terms with seeing your son or daughter less, so prepare yourself by following our useful advice.
Here are some top tips for coping
- Create a realistic budget. There is no point to getting into more debt than necessary.
- Encourage part-time working . Not only will this keep them busy and help them to make new friends, maybe you can incentivise them by matching some of their earnings?
- Suggest ways for them to keep in touch with you cheaply. Instead of calling you how about you arrange to call them once a week? Email and social media are great for free communication. Sign up to Skype and get them too as well for free video calls.
- During the first few weeks, don’t be too hurt if you don’t hear from them much. They will be very busy; having a great time making new friends mainly! Just a text every now and then should reassure you that they are well, but don’t bombard them.
- If they are struggling to get used to university, don’t be tempted to tell them to come home. You have to be strong, just as they do. Encourage them to get out there and be confident; sign up to clubs; to knock on neighbours’ doors in their halls and suggest a drink. Maybe they could also talk to their personal tutor, after all, that’s what they are there for.
- Even if you miss them terribly, try to make the most of the newfound freedom you have. Enjoy the space, the cleanliness, the extra food in the fridge! Yes it is the end of an era, but it’s also the beginning of a new and very exciting one: your child’s adulthood.
- If they come home and don’t want to go back, remain calm and collected. If they do change course or university – or even decide not to go at all – it may be the best thing for them in the long run. The most important thing is not overreact or be angry. It’s their life.
- Visit them every now and then. Many parents wait for their kids to come home to them, but why not take the train or car to see them in their new setting, they will probably be very proud to show you around and introduce you to their new friends.
